Wish List "Part 1" – Angry Video Game Nerd – Episode 116



he's playing some games the worst he because he's gonna find out which one sucked the most balls the Angry Video Game Nerd is here oh he's making a list and checking it twice he's gonna go home and eat chicken and rice the Angry Video Game Nerd is here he hates the games that stink he knows which games to break he just might even hate them all cuz he's mad for fucking sake you better watch out don't give these games a try you better not play him he's telling you why the Angry Video Game Nerd is here back in the 80s our parents didn't order a Christmas presents online because the internet didn't exist yet back then it was all about catalogs every major department store like Sears and JCPenney will put out these holiday wish books so every year it was a tradition to browse through these books and circle all the things that you wanted Santa to bring you everything that you could possibly imagine was in these books there were video games of course you see all kinds of crap like the Roland rocker and dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde for 3987 that's criminal speaking of prices it's funny that at some point the NES and the Atari 7800 were both the same price for the 7800 it says it has super responsive joysticks because they knew the Atari 5200 controllers were pieces of shit yeah having a responsive controller is kind of a necessity wouldn't you say also super 8 cameras and VHS cameras coexistent a new VHS camera could cost a thousand bucks yeah being able to record yourself with actual footage was a luxury my family always had to rent one there were action figures you had ninja turtles in humanoids the Real Ghostbusters as well as the other ghostbusters that nobody gave a shit about there is the giant GI Joe aircraft carrier all kinds of toys everything you can tell that the people who photograph these action figures didn't know anything about them like why is lion-o and mum raw right to gather in the thundertank and why is laser spelled with quotes to dr. evil right this I can't do these books justice I highly recommend that if you can find one of them take a look through it's really a trip when I say everything was in these books I mean literally everything science stuff horses a jewelry lingerie you turn from a page with Kitty stuff to see tobacco these books were mostly for kids to tell their parents what they want and there were even coloring pages in there but then there were things like knives and guns that's terrible that a kid would be flipping through and see that you'd go from a page that has all kinds of kiddies sleeping bags and right on the other side of the page is a gun cabinet right underneath the mario sleeping bag is an assortment of guns and there were lots of them back to the video games a lot of times the descriptions were questionable for Zelda had said gather crystals to stop warlords that's the worst description to Zelda I've ever heard Karate Kid on the NES had the wrong screenshot where'd they get that from that's not the Karate Kid for ghostbusters on Sega Master System it says scare up some fun oh you bet and it retains the typo Gore's ax instead of gozer then we get to the tiger games oh my you're at the wheel for all the high-speed thrills of real racing full of exciting action true to life graphics and sound effects are you fucking kidding me there is no telling if the games were good or not if it made it into the same catalog as Zelda you assumed it would be awesome like I mentioned this was the bi era before Internet there were no online game reviews to tell you when a game sucked the big one it was all a crapshoot all you had was a screenshot a weak description and sometimes word of mouth we would usually gravitate towards games that had some kind of reputation skater die was one of those a game dedicated to skateboarding and hosted by Rodney Dangerfield with a mohawk even if you didn't know anything about skateboard and you wanted to be part of the culture you wanted to be hip just as essential as it was to wear bright neon colors and listen to glam rock you had to at least try to skateboard if you weren't good at it you'd fall on your face and hurt yourself then you'd go play this game and punish yourself even more all you do is fall fall and fall the only way to play decent at it is to master its awkward controls it's like teaching yourself to walk backwards on a tightrope and once you do get good at the five minigame you realize that's all it is two different halfpipe competitions douse ting and a time trial and a race which are so short you can finish them in less than a minute almost every kid had this game in their collection at some point it had cool music a catchy slogan and signified everything that was rad about the 80s but the game was fuckin shit shit that we held with passion skate or die looking back I wish I chose the latter then there was bad dudes or bad dude as this wish book called it just to name bad meant that it had to be good more proof that we had everything screwed up it's a monotonous button masher with choppy movement lousy hit detection and back-ass controls it's another one of those games where BNA are switched meaning B is jump and as attack and you know how it should normally be sure it was early in the age of beat him up games so at the time it was awesome and macho playing this game was a symbol that you were a real man but it hasn't aged well it just makes you want to play final fight 3 instead still it has a legacy and has one of the most famous opening screens of all time are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president bad what was it with that maybe we could blame Michael Jackson for making the work bad so awesome but we should have never listened to Lucas about the power glove in some cases bad really minute one that's always been on my personal hate list is karate champ this is one that was just as horrible back then as it is now it's an early example of a one-on-one fighting game but good lord did they fuck it up in all the years I've revisited this game I have never figured out how to consciously do any of the moves I just mash buttons and see what happens the instruction manual tries to make sense of it all but it's way too complicated and there's nothing intuitive about it hitting your opponent happens at pure random most of the time you miss it's not like he's blocking your fists and feet' are going right through him as if you're fighting a ghost it's hard enough to hit your opponent but it's even more difficult to keep yourself facing him it seems like there's certain moves that turn yourself around why would the game allow you to face the other direction rarely have I ever been able to do the same move again to reorient myself so I usually end up jumping all over the place just to get myself back in the proper direction turn around these controls are on the same level as Conan winter games and dark castle but on closer evaluation I think it beats them all the worst fucking controls in existence and there's no variety except for a bonus stage where all kinds of shit flies at you it's a hopeless situation other than that you fight the same opponent the whole game in fact there's no difference between the two characters it's the same guy fighting the same guy for all eternity sure the backgrounds change but it doesn't affect the gameplay at all even the characters don't seem to exist in the same dimension as these backgrounds no matter the perspective or the lighting condition they remain unchanged how a piece of junk like this got released will always be a mystery even as a rental it was a waste of time well in the tradition of wish lists my fans have had a wishlist of their own of games they've been wanting me to cover so it's time to answer some of those requests let's reach into the stocking dig underneath the lumps of coal and go straight for the shit nuggets the requests I hear all the time is the bad sonic the hedgehog games what bad sonic games the Sonic the Hedgehog games were awesome it was Sega's flagship franchise even though it didn't have as much variety as the Mario games it made Nintendo fans turn their heads Sonic 2 was the game that made me buy a Sega Genesis these games boasted fast scrolling action colorful graphics and delightful music the character was hip and cocky and it was so much fun to make him run and bounce all over the place so what are all these bad sonic games that everyone's talking about well I took a deeper look here's sonic blast on Game Gear oh there's no blast processing with this one come on come on come on sonic blast should have been called Sonic slow-ass not much else to say just a poor man's version of Sonic then there's sonic labyrinth this one experiments with a 3d perspective but fails the controls are messy Sonic's walk is tedious and doing the spin move only sends him ramming into a wall unless you get it down just right anyway these are portable games what do you expect this is back when the convenience of taking a game with you on a trip often meant compromising its playability then there's Sonic R on the Sega Saturn which I've also been told is terrible oh man they're right it's basically a racing game sort of a shitty version of Mario Kart the steering is so unresponsive and I can barely stay on the track oh come on come on and I'm always afraid that it's going to glitch out that I'm going to fall through the boundaries it into the unprogrammed area of limbo another one I've been told about is sonic shuffle on Dreamcast that's right the last of the Sega consoles and a good console will go out with but the same can't be said for this game after you get through about 10 minutes of story footage and tiresome load screens the game finally begins only to bombard you with more texts just as I thought it's a board game video game with some mediocre minigame in between players turns basically this is Sega's take on Mario Party but unfortunately didn't turn out as well another big request is Shadow the Hedgehog on the Nintendo GameCube a Sega game on a Nintendo console cats and dogs living together mass hysteria Sega Nintendo were the biggest competitors of my generation but times have changed I don't even know who shadow is and when did characters and Sonic games start carrying guns once again you have to sit through a movie before the game starts it's pretty spectacular but why is it always like this now is that what kids do nowadays sit around and watch video games you take control shadow with Sonic following behind you run you jump you shoot it's pretty self-explanatory I think it's much more fun than the other games but I find it a little tough to avoid losing my rings all the time this homing attack tends to get me killed and I keep falling down pits other than that I don't have much to say about it I feel like I just awoke from a frozen sleep last I knew sonic games were in 2d Nintendo and Sega were rivals guns were for contra Sonic's nemesis was called dr. Robotnik now he's gone by dr. Eggman Diddy daddy villain formerly known as whatever what the hell happened here this is about as new as I'll go sorry I'm going back to NES that's what I know best one of my biggest NES requests since day one is Where's Waldo first you have to be familiar with the books they were incredible as a kid I stare at these pages for hours the illustrations were amazing and there was so much going on I could keep your eyes busy exploring for a long time of course the objective was to find Waldo amongst other hidden things well how do you take this and turn into an NES game this is what happens it's as if the pages of the book have been chewed up digested and shout out an 8-bit ass how can you find Waldo in this where the fuck is Waldo Heat even know where he is and that's all you do you just move the square around the screen and hit the button if you think Waldo is in that area even when I do find him I still don't know which one he's supposed to be it's really not hard anyway you can just keep trying every space on the screen until you win the only thing that happens if you picked the wrong area you lose time on the timer but it still seems like a better option to guess your way through the game rather than actually trying to find Waldo with your own eyes in between the stages you're forced into watching Waldo walk from one place to the next and he never walks in a straight line he just wanders all over the place like he doesn't have a clue where he's going why do we need this cutscene anyway couldn't we just go straight to the next stage there's a few stages that are different like finding Waldo in the dark a crappy slot machine and one of those indescribable shit shows that reminds me of that part in Terminator 2 on Gameboy where you have to connect the wires or that fucking nightmare and Bill and Ted and once you've completed all the stages Walter goes to the moon and the game's over I finished the whole game in six minutes imagine buying this piece of shit for 50 bucks nowadays releasing a game this short would never be excusable well anyway we have a lot more games to get through so stay tuned for part 2 I'm gonna go get the games

31 Comments

  • gussstavo

    April 15, 2019

    NRA FOR EVER!!!!

    Reply
  • Marc Weitlauf

    April 15, 2019

    Sonic 2
    sucks

    Reply
  • NintendoPlushWorld

    April 15, 2019

    8:57 sonic fans in denial in a nutshell

    Reply
  • peashottergaming peashotter102

    April 15, 2019

    SONIC MOOD

    Reply
  • Alex Archer

    April 15, 2019

    3:38 The game must have been in development when that screenshot was taken.

    Reply
  • Fredward Fuchs

    April 15, 2019

    rip sears and j.c. penny lol

    Reply
  • Sterlin Rivera

    April 15, 2019

    “Sonic Blast? Should’ve been called Sonic Slow-Ass.”

    Reply
  • Madis Kõivupuu

    April 15, 2019

    3:13 nr7 is soviet union olympic bear

    Reply
  • Jeremy Backman

    April 15, 2019

    Dreamcast had a lot of wasted potential.

    Reply
  • The Shadowgunner

    April 15, 2019

    Fun fact : The same guy who made Snes doom also made Where's Waldo? on Nes

    Reply
  • 吉川たつと

    April 15, 2019

    ゲームソフトの紹介文の「騙そう感」が堪らないわ?

    Reply
  • gerty tk

    April 15, 2019

    That ending. 😀

    Reply
  • Gabrielle Leonard

    April 15, 2019

    Hey AVGN in Sonic R did you unlock tails doll? If you did that is awesome also run away from that doll because it’s a evil killer doll

    Reply
  • Rosann Francis

    April 15, 2019

    You forgot the sonic fighter game!

    Reply
  • Brandon Govreau

    April 15, 2019

    Play Mario Odyssey a Nintendo switch game

    Reply
  • Brandon Govreau

    April 15, 2019

    Play Ghoulies on Xbox original Xbox

    Reply
  • Van Allen’s Belt

    April 15, 2019

    What in the hell is wrong with guns?

    Reply
  • Alex Fagundes

    April 15, 2019

    "Sometimes bad is bad" Huey Lewis

    Reply
  • Magnitude715

    April 15, 2019

    "Where the fuck is Waldo?!"

    Reply
  • guns

    April 15, 2019

    I hate that so many games these days try and be movies. Then you get people wowed by them despite hardly any gaming. Yeah its shit bad.

    Reply
  • Miguel Alba

    April 15, 2019

    No it's Sonic trash

    Reply
  • Szylu

    April 15, 2019

    6:30 Dude we have 2019, whe can blalme Michel Jackson for everything that we want

    Reply
  • Алексей Кондратенко

    April 15, 2019

    Found maskot of Olympics'1980 in Russia at 3:12

    Reply
  • Spit Dragon

    April 15, 2019

    So why did you fall off?
    I'm 34 and I accept Sonic as a 3D game. (Even the Saturn had 3D blast)
    You didn't play Sonic Adventure 1 or 2?
    Can we get some big YouTubers that aren't X Nintendo fanboys?

    Reply
  • Spit Dragon

    April 15, 2019

    Shining Force made me buy a Sega Genesis…
    It came with Altered Beast and Sonic.
    I can probably speedrun Sonic 2, it was a great game.

    Reply
  • Sub-Zero Mortal Kombat Is Bullshit 6430Ryu

    April 15, 2019

    LJN SHIT!

    Reply
  • Tad

    April 15, 2019

    i love these wishlist books!!

    Reply
  • Thebestaro

    April 15, 2019

    I remember when this one came out. I loved ito

    Reply
  • Patrick McCutcheon

    April 15, 2019

    I feel that about the skateboarding thing. For my generation it was Tony Hawk Pro Skater that revamped that culture in my area.

    Reply
  • Randall Savona

    April 15, 2019

    I’m concern Has he never played Sonic adventure 2? go to 11:37 And you’ll find out why I am concerned.

    Reply
  • Ghost Cookie

    April 15, 2019

    Heaven forbid a kid see a picture of a knife or gun. Ooooh, scary times.

    Reply

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