SCP-1609 The Remains of a Chair | Euclid class | furniture / sentient / wooden / autonomous scp

SCP-1609 The Remains of a Chair | Euclid class | furniture / sentient / wooden / autonomous scp

Item #: SCP-1609 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1609 is
contained at Storage Site-08 due to the difficulty of transporting it from that location. SCP-1609
is to be contained in a specially-designed enclosure at that site, within a flowerbed
in which a range of aesthetically-pleasing flowers and plants are to be cultivated. It
is to be used as mulch within this flowerbed. The flowerbed is to be tended regularly, and
all visitors to the enclosure must remark on the beauty of the flowerbed, with particular
emphasis on the quality of the mulch. SCP-1609 is to be removed from the flowerbed
at regular intervals so that it can be treated with wood, metal and fabric preservatives.
Personnel are to announce their intentions in the presence of SCP-1609 before attempting
to remove it for this purpose. Personnel assigned to SCP-1609 are required
to wear plainclothes in order to prevent accidentally triggering a violent response from SCP-1609.
No items with motors are allowed within a 200-metre radius of SCP-1609’s containment
area. No personnel either presently or previously affiliated with the Global Occult Coalition,
nor material referencing them, are to be allowed within Storage Site-08. In the event of a violent reaction from SCP-1609,
all personnel are to exit the immediate vicinity and a message is to be played over the site’s
interior speakers informing site staff of the event. Should SCP-1609 be sighted outside
of its containment area following a violent reaction, staff are to act in a submissive,
non-threatening manner. Formal clothing, such as jackets, labcoats, protective clothing,
jumpsuits, and particularly body armour are to be removed if possible in the case of such
an event, and any weapons capable of damaging SCP-1609 are to be immediately discarded.
Staff are to ask SCP-1609 to return to containment without attempting to threaten or command
it. Should SCP-1609 exit Storage Site-08, Agents
are to be immediately dispatched in order to scan the surrounding area for SCP-1609
and if possible retrieve it. At present there exists no way to totally prevent SCP-1609
from breaching containment, and containment procedures centre on encouraging SCP-1609
to remain within its containment area. Description: SCP-1609 is, at the present time,
a pile of splinters, wood chippings, furniture nails, and scraps of bleached leather and
fabric, weighing in total approximately ██.█ kilograms. The wooden portions of SCP-1609 are made of
oak, and the nails are made of steel. SCP-1609 is capable of teleportation, being
capable of moving its entire mass instantaneously between two points without any known limit.
SCP-1609 usually uses this to bring its constituent parts together when parts of SCP-1609 have
been removed from the mass, but SCP-1609 can teleport its entire mass at once, on at least
one occasion at a distance of ████ kilometres. SCP-1609 is capable of splitting its mass,
though it does this rarely. Any amount of material removed from SCP-1609’s mass continues
to display SCP-1609’s properties. SCP-1609 has resisted all attempts to remove it from
the confines of Storage Site-08, teleporting back to the site of its own accord. However,
it has previously teleported out of Storage Site-08 for brief periods before returning,
although this has only happened on █ occasions since its arrival in Foundation custody. SCP-1609 appears to be in some way sentient,
as research indicates it is able to perceive its environment in a manner that is currently
poorly understood, and is able to react to stimuli in an intelligent fashion. Details
of SCP-1609’s behaviour are poorly understood, although it has been ascertained that it will
react in self-preservation, and will react aggressively to certain stimuli which it connects
with a threat to its existence. Aside from this, SCP-1609 appears to prefer situations
in which it is utilised by humans, and will actively seek out situations where it can
be put to use if it is left idle. This is the reason for the Foundation’s present
use of SCP-1609 as mulch, as this prevents SCP-1609 from becoming idle and attempting
to leave Storage Site-08. It is theorised that SCP-1609 is capable of understanding
human speech or thought, although this cannot be determined since it does not comply with
tests designed to gauge its awareness of such stimuli. When exposed to a number of specific stimuli,
SCP-1609 will react violently. During a typical violent reaction from SCP-1609, it will teleport
a portion of its mass inside the lungs of nearby personnel, causing immediate and severe
lacerations to the interior of the lungs, as well as pulmonary obstruction, which rapidly
leads to the victim’s death. Stimuli which can instigate a violent reaction from SCP-1609
include: personnel wearing the uniform of, or clothes similar to the uniform of, personnel
affiliated with the Global Occult Coalition; utterance of words or phrases used heavily
or exclusively by GOC operatives, such as ‘threat entity’, while in contact with
SCP-1609; any action demonstrating hostility towards SCP-1609; and the sound of a running
motor. Violent responses from SCP-1609 are rare — only █ such events have occurred
since containment, and SCP-1609 quickly reverts to a passive state after such a response if
it does not continue to feel threatened. SCP-1609 arrived in Foundation custody on
██/██/████, after teleporting into an unused containment cell at Storage
Site-08 in its current state. Careful investigation has revealed that SCP-1609 was originally
a large chair made of varnished oak and bleached leather, carved in the form of a reclining
woman in a restful state. SCP-1609 appears to have possessed its anomalous properties
in this state, albeit with certain limitations, namely that the object would only teleport
when a person within a certain radius (currently unknown) felt the need to sit down or rest
without a comfortable seat or chair nearby. At this point, SCP-1609 would teleport to
them and remain in place until another person experienced a similar urge. On ██/██/████, both Foundation
operatives and members of the Global Occult Coalition were made aware of the existence
of SCP-1609, which was given the temporary designation of E-622. Due to the hard-to-contain
nature of SCP-1609 and the possibility of its existence causing a breach of secrecy
regarding the existence of supernatural phenomena, a small-scale effort to contain SCP-1609 was
launched by GOC forces. It is presently unknown how exactly GOC operatives
captured SCP-1609, but it is known that they succeeded in reducing the object into its
current form using a woodchipper. Further attempts to destroy SCP-1609 failed, due to
its properties and ability to teleport away from sources of danger. Following this event,
several members of the Global Occult Coalition died under unusual circumstances. Investigation
through both official channels and embedded Foundation agents with the GOC has potentially
linked SCP-1609 to at least three deaths of personnel within the Coalition, although the
true number of casualties amassed due to their mishandling of the item is unknown. SCP-1609
then arrived in Foundation custody. It is unknown how SCP-1609 was aware of the existence
of the Foundation, although it is theorised that it entered Foundation custody due to
a low risk of further damage to itself. Document 1609-1: SCP-1609 represents a perfect example of the
flaws inherent in the operating procedure of the GOC, and serves as a cautionary tale
for any members of the Foundation who disagree with our practices on containing dangerous
objects. Prior to the Coalition getting their hands
on this, it was perfectly harmless. A chair which teleports to you when you need a seat
is normal compared to most of the stuff that we deal with on a regular basis. When they
put it through a woodchipper, it got hurt, scared and angry, so it lashed out at them.
By trying to ‘protect the world’ by destroying it, they inadvertently made the situation
a whole lot worse. SCP-1609 went from being harmless to deadly in the space of a few minutes
because of the GOC, and we had to clean up the mess. Thankfully, SCP-1609 is pretty simple for
us to deal with. So long as we don’t do anything stupid around it, it won’t fight back and
it won’t try to leave. Even if it does, it usually comes back. I think I’ve worked out
why. It came to us because it was afraid of the people who had hurt it. That’s why it
always comes back. It’s afraid of the rest of the world now, and it’s looking to us for
protection. This is why we have Special Containment Procedures
instead of Special Destruction Procedures. If you break something, it’s broken forever.
When you try to destroy an anomaly, you can’t take back your mistakes. That’s what SCP-1609
has to tell us. This is why we’re right and the GOC is wrong, people. – Dr. Sievert


  • first name last name

    October 17, 2015

    it's pretty cool but a little scary that it could kill you if you wear something rong or something.but cool nun the less. keep up the good work.

  • newguy90

    October 17, 2015

    Poor chair. It only wanted to be useful.

  • ShadowTheSoulless

    October 17, 2015

    not much creeps me out, that chair ever so slightly makes me want to say "nope" and walk away.

  • RabidPinkBunny

    October 17, 2015

    I feel kind of sorry for that poor chair…

  • krogothxii

    October 17, 2015

    The ending really clarifies what the Foundation really wants to do, and what they are willing to do to keep the world safe.

  • Dr. Baz

    October 18, 2015

    The Foundation are not by any stretch of the imagination saints, but their right in this case. The GOC are wrong and this is evidence to that.

    I know none of this shit is real but dammit sometimes I wish it is. Poor chair.

  • Bizarre

    October 18, 2015

    Makes you wonder how many other dangerous SCP's were born to be inherently threatening, or became that way due to tragic exposure to human fear and ignorance.

  • rainkeltoia

    October 20, 2015

    I love this one! These are fun but they sometimes have a deep message too

  • NotAssigned

    October 22, 2015

    Does anyone remember SCP-066?

  • Strobe break

    January 12, 2016

    So… dont destroy 682

  • Eric Southard

    February 15, 2016

    I wonder if scp 999 could help it

  • LanceTheAutobot

    April 4, 2016

    Poor thing


    June 24, 2016

    Mr. Chair?! What have they done to you?! D;

  • Freakish Uproar

    August 16, 2016

    This is still one of my favourite SCP's, definitely makes it onto my top ten list. I like the implication that despite SCP-1609's fairly limited intelligence, it still seems to have a personality and seems more irreparably traumatized than sinister.

  • Shwartzie007

    August 24, 2016

    I don't know if you've been told but your reading voice is kick ass.

  • SH4D0W

    October 3, 2016

    this might be one of my favourite SCPs
    I love that little message at the end

  • Enduros5 Endy

    October 26, 2016

    This was a sad one. Too bad there isn't a way to repair the chair. It would have been AWESOME to have a personal chair that followed you!

  • John Paul Keller

    November 5, 2016

    I wonder if it could be put back together again. Not like any of its mass was lost.

  • timemadscientist Greatscot!

    November 9, 2016

    I really like this one. It is the perfect example of why containing anomalies is better than destroying them.
    Kind of sad that such a happy chair became so afraid due to what must have been agonizing injuries.
    At least the foundation protects it now. Hopefully it finds happiness in the future.

  • Rick Flett

    December 6, 2016

    I've always liked this one. a helpful chair… poor thing

  • martin perez

    January 1, 2017

    that was one of the best readings ive ever heard

  • Thoranzalar Vhazen

    January 27, 2017

    Doesn't the SCP foundation often try to neutralize SCPs though, especially the dangerous ones? Forgive me – I'm not real keen on the lore yet but a lot of these SCP-readings end with a doctor requesting the immediate destruction of certain SCPs. Their purpose seems a bit inconsistent between some stories when it comes to whether or not they're here to protect the SCP's from being found out by keeping them locked away and secret, or if they're here to protect humanity by destroying threats.

  • TheGirlInFandomWorld

    February 6, 2017

    This is absolutely one of my favorite SCPs. The GOC fascinates me, and I've always wanted to know how they would react to 682.

  • TheGirlInFandomWorld

    February 6, 2017

    This is absolutely one of my favorite SCPs. The GOC fascinates me, and I've always wanted to know how they would react to 682.

  • Dyionisis Yhe horned one

    February 15, 2017

    so that's what happened to my favorite chair! you monsters! Gemme back my chair! she must be terrified for Christ's sake!

  • Jesse Chavez

    April 2, 2017

    Huh…… 1609… how interesting… it seems to like this location… 😒

  • TheGirlInFandomWorld

    April 23, 2017

    You think the Foundation ever feels like the GOC is a wild toddler they got stuck babysitting

  • Justin S

    April 29, 2017

    Hell hath no fury like a chair scorned.

  • Verenigd-Oost-Indisch Compagnie

    May 31, 2017

    GOC are assholes

  • Lord_ Xonaz

    June 1, 2017

    the feels for the chair 😢

  • Aneita Torres

    June 16, 2017

    The last bit by the doctor sounds like a verbal beatdown of "This is why we 'Secure, Contain, and Protect' ; not 'Secure, Contain, and Destroy' . The GOC trying to destroy SCP 1609 made it worst and it always return to the SCP Foundation to protect it ."

  • Core

    June 24, 2017


  • Dr. Medic

    July 16, 2017

    That picture reminds me of that one Rick and Morty episode.

  • Tristen -

    August 6, 2017

    Request to offer assistance to the chair, so that it may be returned to its previous state.

  • Markofka

    August 30, 2017

    I would love to have it as a "pet" if it didnt hate motors

  • Calvin Galen55 on FA

    August 30, 2017

    The thumbnail looks like the ghoul chair from fallout 4 nuke world dlc.

  • Kibibyte

    September 4, 2017

    So a global occult coalition destroyed a chair that helps you cause it's sp00ky and now the Foundation has to deal with it.

  • drkinferno72

    November 26, 2017

    Burn it lol

  • BlubberyOyster 4

    January 2, 2018

    I remember when I first visited Colorado, I walked by a wooden chair in similar style, shaped just like a humanoid male… We found it placed in a large window of a store that seemed to have been "closed" for awhile… We took a picture of it and I uploaded it to Steam along time ago…

    There's the link if anyone wants to see it… It's actually shockingly identical to this SCP…

  • Morgan O'Brien-Bledsoe

    January 10, 2018

    This is quite beautiful. A chair that just wanted to be helpful and useful abused and scared. Saved by the Foundation.

  • Rebecca Robinson

    January 19, 2018

    I refuse to believe that there isn't a furniture fixing scp that can ut this poor thing back together

  • Random Chiroptera

    January 25, 2018

    Looks like so much furniture from Fallout 4 Nukaworld Expansion.

  • Harvie Birdman

    May 6, 2018

    Moral of the story: Don't judge a book wrongly, even if the cover is suspicious.

  • Blastertronus

    July 2, 2018


  • Sebastian Yu

    January 24, 2019

    The most likely situation of any end of the world scenario is because the GOC messed with something. They probably are the most dangerous GOI due to sheer incompetence

  • Ethan Guarin

    March 21, 2019

    Scp 1337 and scp 1609 would make great friends since they both were originally safe class scps until some idiot decided that it was great idea to destroy them and which backfired and made them euclids.

  • Alex Arriaga

    October 9, 2019

    The GOC really over did it with this SCP

  • Bad comedy Kyle

    December 31, 2019

    Poor chair btw I was born on the sixteenth of November 2009 lol


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