Megan Fox Sends Her Kids to Vegan School (feat. Brad Williams) – Lights Out with David Spade

Megan Fox Sends Her Kids to Vegan School (feat. Brad Williams) – Lights Out with David Spade


In curious news, um, Megan Fox sends her kids
to a vegan school where they plant and harvest
their own food. So my gut reaction is
to make fun of this, of course, but I’m not sure. I’m sort of on the fence now. Brad, you have a baby
on the way. Are you gonna raise it
on this, on her farm? I don’t know.
Like, I-I read the story, and she teaches her kids
that plants have feelings and emotions and they hurt. And, you know,
women love bad boys, so, Megan, check this out. SPADE:
No! Whoa. (laughter) (mouthing) (applause and cheering) And call me? I could hear that scream. They also say that the kids have to plant the food
in the schoolyard -and then go out and sell it
-And sell it. -to restaurants later that day.
-Right. So that’s– Some poor kid
is walking up and down Ventura Boulevard
with a tomato at midnight. Trying to hawk it to Chipotle,
you know. Yes. And these are, these
are millionaire children -Yeah. -that now have to live
like they’re Amish. -SPADE: That’s exactly true.
-So, like, this is like… -This is extra. -Yeah.
He’s like, “Mom, uh, weren’t you in Transformers ? Do I sleep
on a wicker bed now? She teaches her kids
that plants have feelings, and then she makes them
grow the plants and sell the plants off
to strangers. She’s the Jeffrey Epstein
of vegetables. SPADE:
Oh, my God. -He didn’t commit suicide,
by the way. -No, he did not. Every week, her poor neighbor’s
landscaper shows up she’s screaming from the porch,
“Murderers.” I’d rather a Ugandan guy fart
in my face than go to a vegan
elementary school. (applause) She’s at home one night going, “Honey, the word around
the neighborhood “is we’re not
pretentious enough. Is there anything
we could do to fix that?” And the kid’s like, “Mom,
maybe one more Transformers. I mean, it wouldn’t kill you.” All right, uh, a body builder
in Kazakhstan– Is that where Borat lives? -Yeah, no, I’m pretty– Is it?
-Yeah. -Yeah. -It is? -It’s over,
that’s past La Mirada. (laughter) -You don’t go that far.
-No, I hear it on traffic, but I don’t know where it is. Uh, admitted to getting his
fiancée plastic surgery. Here’s the twist: Uh, his girlfriend
is a silicone sex doll. Silicone sex doll named Margo,
and here’s them. She’s actually really pretty. Um, when your girlfriend
is plastic, isn’t it just surgery? It’s just all weird
across the board. Yeah, like,
if you wanted to have sex with an emotionless piece
of plastic, I’m sure you could
introduce them to plenty of
the Vanderpump Rules cast. SPADE:
Yeah, that’s right. -Not you, Stassi.
-Not you. Oh, no, I have– No, yeah. I have a fake chin,
so, yes, me. -SPADE: No, not you.
-Where’s the camera? Listen, at least she can write
funny captions. SCHROEDER: I’m not mad–
I’m not mad at this because I’ve been wondering what
to get my fiancé for Christmas, and now I know, a doll
that is exactly me. -That’s exact… Yeah.
-So… -There’s that. I mean…
-That is similar. Listen, if we’re in a fight,
if we’re arguing, go into the other room with me.
With nice me. -Yeah.
-SPADE: Take it out on her. I love that we have to ban
glitter and straws, but yet some sea turtle’s gonna
choke on this woman’s tits. -(laughter and applause)
-SPADE: Her tits. Nobody…
Nobody seems to give a damn. He’s married to a sex doll.
You know that… But you know
the marriage goes south the minute he has to clean it. -FRANJOLA: Yeah.
-SPADE: Oh, yeah. (groaning) You stuff that gal
into a dishwasher, -she’s ready to go
in 45 minutes. -Yeah! Just get out there
with some 409. (imitates spraying, squeaking) “Ready, babe? Big party night.” (imitates spraying, squeaking) “Nobu.”
(imitates squeaking) -Just keep making those noises.
-Nobody does the squeak noise -quite like Spade.
-SPADE: Oh, yes, good. -That’s a good one.
-It’s the greatest thing ever. -My favorite.
-Yeah. Anyway, all right. Well, uh,
any final thoughts on this? Wait, wait. So,
what is the Amazon, like, uh… What is the Amazon URL
to get this again? -Oh, do you want to get it?
-New Christmas present. -Oh, this is a real stocking
stuffer. -In my likeness. Yeah. This is the Stassi doll. -That actually would do pretty
well. -Oh, that would do… -That would do really well.
-Yeah. -Thank you. Yeah, that would be really… -Too well.
-But you don’t… Wait, you don’t have one
of those, do you? Wait, you’re kidding, right?
You don’t have one. We’ll check your website later.

42 Comments

  • Jane c.

    December 12, 2019

    Amish…? Y’all are fucked up. It’s called being free spirited and a caring human being. God forbid someone raises their kids to love the environment. Did you forget that neglecting it is what got us into a climate crises in the first place? Smh.

    Reply
  • Fuch Goog

    December 12, 2019

    Brad williams is fucking annoying.

    Reply
  • Dc Seattle

    December 12, 2019

    Someone needs to tell Brad that he's a fucking midget.

    Reply
  • Carlos Flores

    December 12, 2019

    3 of the most annoying people ever and that's including u, Spade

    Reply
  • David Harrison

    December 12, 2019

    She's the same lunatic that dresses her son in a dress for school. Hollyweird

    Reply
  • dorian diddles

    December 12, 2019

    Hey Dave, don't you think brads novelty has worn off already? Like, c'mon dude.

    Reply
  • willis white

    December 12, 2019

    For once Spade’s not the shortest person on set.

    Reply
  • Mat J

    December 12, 2019

    I never seen a vegan claiming plants have feelings, that really makes no sens

    Reply
  • Nikki Mcdonald

    December 12, 2019

    So she teaches the kids the plants have feelings then rips the fruits and vegetables off ..how freaking sadistic. Poor plants 😢😢

    Reply
  • Revived Legacy

    December 12, 2019

    I thought that guy was hornswgoggle for like half the show. I was wrong, his name is Dylan😎

    Reply
  • Angel Verastigue

    December 12, 2019

    We need more younger guest not friends from 30 years ago

    Reply
  • Vamanos Ninja

    December 12, 2019

    She took the idea of the school where New Girl's Jess was the principal too literally.

    Reply
  • Vamanos Ninja

    December 12, 2019

    The sea turtle joke was good 😀

    Reply
  • Sean Wilks

    December 12, 2019

    What a cruel joke god pulled off. How you going to make a midget and then give them bigger heads than normal. He would make a good battering ram.

    Reply
  • Rolling Ormond

    December 12, 2019

    Yes, meat production is destroying the planet and vegan is the only future. These snarky a-holes in L.A. just shuck and jive for whatever gets a few laughs and money from massah Spade.

    Reply
  • WarParty! At the Outpost

    December 12, 2019

    Is this channel spade or neutered? It's just D listers bitching about people more successful than them.

    Reply
  • Daniel Zimmer

    December 12, 2019

    Bet her kids got trouble so punishments is go vegan school haha

    Reply
  • Jordan Harrelson

    December 12, 2019

    Holy crap, vegan academy is real. These freakin kids are gonna have psychic powers and terrorize the neighborhood.

    Reply
  • Josh Weeks

    December 12, 2019

    I wish David Spade had funnier friends.

    Reply
  • Mimi Giggles

    December 12, 2019

    Speaking of vegan, pretty sure that my son first found his carrot after watching Transformers.

    Reply
  • john probst

    December 12, 2019

    if you get your fiance a doll like you, its better than you because it doesnt have your caustic voice and stupid diaglogue.

    Reply
  • Michael Covel

    December 12, 2019

    David always closes the topic with the best jokes

    Reply
  • Kev_ Buntu

    December 12, 2019

    show needs more cock talk

    Reply
  • Eric Mueller

    December 13, 2019

    The squeak noise and the phone dialing, classics!

    Reply
  • BlueAngel

    December 13, 2019

    Teaching kids plants have feelings, well they arent gonna eat the plants then!!!!😵😀

    Reply
  • Jennifer Lynn

    December 13, 2019

    Have Kylie Dunnigan on.

    Reply
  • Eugenio Gonzalez

    December 13, 2019

    The Vanderpump rule joke was very good, give some credit !

    Reply
  • Tyler Montgomery

    December 13, 2019

    Lmao choke on her tit

    Reply
  • Mitch g

    December 13, 2019

    She's attractive 🙂 and quirky fun 🙂

    Reply
  • Stev Rex

    December 13, 2019

    Cannot stand looking at midgets. Pretending they are not ugly is a fraud.

    Reply
  • Lost Aquarian

    December 14, 2019

    I'm sick of vegans eating up my foods food.

    Reply
  • Sam Smith

    December 15, 2019

    Mac from it’s Sunny is a midget ?

    Reply
  • Elliott Timpf

    December 17, 2019

    At first I thought Spade was going to say the school teaches kids to grow and harvest organs

    Reply
  • frawgy

    December 17, 2019

    I’m gunna say.
    I don’t care who knows.
    I’ll say it.

    I don’t like the little guy… he’s not funny, he makes all these jokes about himself… like we get it. You’re a little person… it’s done. Over it. Cmon Spade get some else on the show. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

    Reply
  • Daniel Johnston

    January 8, 2020

    That bad boy leaf joke was the first non little person joke I've ever heard Brad make.

    Reply
  • Paul Grey

    January 9, 2020

    Epstein was MOSSAD and he is probably still alive.

    Reply
  • anthony lingon

    January 9, 2020

    What a weak panel

    Reply
  • Micah Mcgaffin

    January 10, 2020

    brad willliams is not funny

    Reply
  • fresh B

    January 11, 2020

    Those poor kids, I hope thier getting enough vitamins and nutrients off thier home grown veggies…lol

    Reply
  • Ansleigh Brown

    January 12, 2020

    STASSI ahh my fav

    Reply
  • broken927

    January 14, 2020

    Women have had plastic boyfriends for decades…it's called a credit card.

    Reply
  • Jeff Fults

    February 5, 2020

    Brad Williams raped someone??

    Reply

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