Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar Speech Left Us with Questions – Lights Out with David Spade

Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar Speech Left Us with Questions – Lights Out with David Spade


So last night, uh,
was a big night for show biz. Everyone’s buzzing about it.
Let’s just get into it. It was the XFL season opener
over the weekend. -(laughter)
-Can you believe it? I’m a diehard
Seattle Dragons fan. You know what?
And they (bleep) doubted us. No one thought
we’d be one and oh right now. Oh, and there were the Oscars.
All right. I’ll just say upfront,
I was a little surprised that Parasite had the sweep. I thought
with all the subtitles, it was maybe gonna win
Best Book. -(laughter)
-But, you know… I’m gonna wait for the English
remake, Crazy Broke Asians. (laughter) -(applause and cheering)
-Yeah. They have all these prop bets,
you know, for the Oscars. I wish I had taken, uh, “Best Actor
that talks about cow jiz at some point
during his speech.” (laughter, applause) That was three to one. Could have cleaned up. Uh, Billie Eilish was there to perform
the In Memoriam segment. And she was good. She only stopped five times
to point at the screen and go, -“Who’s that?”
-(laughter) “Oh, they’re dead?
So they were alive? So, okay. That sucks.” ♪ La, la, la-la. ♪ Anyway, what did you guys think? I loved
how drunk Diane Keaton was. Oh, yeah. Was she, uh…? Was she drunk,
or something was going on? I mean, I don’t know.
She was definitely toking on a little Bong Joon,
if you know what I’m saying. -Ee-ooh, ee. -That’s how ladies
act around Keanu. Even me. I’m like, “Oh, oh. Keanu.” He’s got that effect on ladies. That’s right. With…
DiCaprio usually brings his mom. -But he brought his date
this time. -FEIMSTER: Mm-hmm. And he’s like, “Hey, Mom,
maybe you can go with Keanu. I don’t know.”
He’s sort of, uh… I thought… I thought
Joaquin’s speech was great, man. -SPADE: Yeah?
-I really liked it. Uh, and, uh, I was just happy to see some straight white men
represented finally. -FEIMSTER: Yeah.
-SPADE: Finally. With… with Eminem
and everyone winning. I was half waiting
for them to be like, “We’d like to award Bob Saget with
a Lifetime Achievement Award.” (laughter) Yeah, I liked Joaquin’s speech. As an inseminated cow myself.
Like… (laughter) (applause and cheering) I like that he…
I like that he was saying like, “We’re not good enough to cows.”
I’m like, “Yeah, we just started
respecting women in Hollywood four weeks ago.” What? -(laughter)
-Four weeks ago, really? I don’t understand the, like…
Do we drink milk or do we not? (laughter) -I don’t know. -He was
a little murky about that. -Yeah, he sort of jumped around.
-Yeah. I love Joaquin,
’cause he’s bananas. I think
it’s really fun to watch him ’cause he’s got so much
going on in his head. And he’s trying to get it out. It’s-it’s just fun to watch.
I like it. I did think
that it was not diverse enough, and then it was so blatant. -Yeah. -It was like, they were
really in meetings going, “I want everyone you see
to be diverse.” -Yeah. Yeah. Because they even had
a diversity chaperone. -Like, Steve Martin
had Chris Rock. -(laughter) Like, don’t send
a white guy alone. It was so…
There was this weird part. I don’t know if you guys saw it,
but the lady… There was, like,
a couple that won for, like, Best Short Film
or something like that, and the lady brought her purse -on stage.
-FEIMSTER: Her purse. Yeah. And I was like, “This is like
a room full of rich people. Like, nobody wants
your Werther’s Originals, Lady.” You know, like, Jeff.. Jeff Bezos isn’t gonna be like
“Oh, look at this.” -He cleaned up that.
-Yeah. I couldn’t tell if it was
a purse or if it was Joe Pesci. -It took me a second.
-Oh, yeah. -(laughter) It’s true. I felt bad they kept cutting
to Greta Gerwig 55 times. -They’re like…
-TIANA: Yeah. They sort of maybe
wanted her to not go. And then everyone got to go, “Look, You remember you forgot
her?” And she was like… -TIANA: Yeah.
-FEIMSTER: But she was… She was always
on the edge of her seat like, “What’s gonna happen?” SPADE:
She was… she was maybe looking for a write-in vote
or something. It’s like, “You never know,
you never know.” They made it a big deal
that she didn’t get nominated, but women got a lot
of representation. I mean,
look at all the speaking parts -they got in The Irishman,
you know? -(laughter) Speaking parts. So exciting.
You got a speaking part. They got a lot in Little Women. There’s 12 of ’em. Um, Eminem was sort
of a surprise. A big surprise. -FEIMSTER: Oh, yeah.
-TIANA: I loved him. -SPADE: I think it’s cool.
I love him. -(applause) -I was just so excited.
-Yeah? -I mean.
-I was excited in 2002. -TIANA: What?
-(laughter) No I-I love Eminem.
I thought he did amazing. But that’s when you need a host
to be like, “Well, that was
a fun flashback, right?” -You know?
-Yeah. No one said anything. No one. They’re just like, “That… that was
what was supposed to happen.” -You’re like, “Okay.”
-TIANA: I was shocked. I thought the only way
we would see him at the Oscars -was in the In Memoriam section,
you know? -(laughter, groans) I was like,
“Oh. He’s here and he’s alive! This is the best day
of my life.” Even if they said it was a
throwback Thursday or something, -you felt it a little bit.
-Totally. But you know what?
I have to say… because they do… they do
sort of lean on the comics. -TIANA/FEIMSTER: Yeah.
-When they don’t have a host, it turns into it,
because they give the comics, Kristen Wiig and Maya, they
give them a little extra time, and they always seem to score,
and people seem to like it, so they have little tent poles, Will Ferrell and Julia Lou…
you know. So I think
that’s good for comedy. It shows that
it’s perfect for those. Even if they don’t have a host, that’s a good thing
to have out there. They’re the best part
of the show. -Yeah, they’re still getting
some props… -(applause) -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah, let’s
give ourselves one of these. -Yeah. -We… we weren’t there,
but we’ll take credit. SPADE:
Not us, exactly. But them. -(cheering)
-I was really upset that Joaquin didn’t
thank himself in his speech. -Yeah.
-I just was shocked he didn’t refer to himself in
the first person the whole time. -(laughter)
-MORRIL: I was a little upset he didn’t mention me
in the speech. He had to follow me
in the Joker movie. Oh, right, you’re in the Joker. -Oh, right!
-A lot of people say… -(cheering, applause)
-Well, hold on. More pats. Hold on a second. Um, a lot of people say that
that’s what made him the Joker, having to follow me
at an open mike and bomb. -(laughter) -So… I’m just
saying what people are saying. It did make me feel like Todd Phillips
should have won Best Director. Once I saw him give his speech,
I was like, “Holy shit.” -(laughter)
-That’s a good point. Just knowing for weeks
that Todd Phillips is like, “Can he please just enter
through the door -and not the window?”
-(laughter) That is crazy–
it reminds you that actors -can only be other people.
-(laughter) -Yeah. Yeah. One day, it was like, “Just
be yourself for 45 seconds.” You’re like, “Oh,
this is gonna be bad,” right? I thought with Parasite–
it got Best Foreign Language– and then when it won
Best Picture, everyone was like, I’m all for foreign movies,
but let’s take it down a notch, like, let’s-let’s get back
to our movies next year, then we’re gonna make sure
that doesn’t happen again. They were a little
weirded out there. All right,
don’t let them get too uppity. -(laughter)
-But they had, the translator -was sort of a hit, the girl
that, uh… -Yeah, she was. -She did great.
-She spoke more than any… She was the host. -Yeah, she was the host.
-(laughter)

100 Comments

  • MelYer

    February 11, 2020

    Sarah's STILL pregnant??? Love her and Fortune.

    Reply
  • International Harvester

    February 11, 2020

    Fortune is cool.

    Reply
  • Ari Ari

    February 11, 2020

    Fucking idiot..with a idiot show

    Reply
  • diane guarino

    February 11, 2020

    The Oscar statue looks smaller than I remember.

    Reply
  • ATM

    February 11, 2020

    I’m cringing at the pc guy tryin to hard

    Reply
  • Darth Yoda

    February 11, 2020

    wtf his speech wasn’t about cow semen, are they retarded????

    Reply
  • C L

    February 11, 2020

    Best book, crazy broke asian!!

    Reply
  • Nick Barcheck

    February 11, 2020

    What is this show supposed to be? These people are trying too hard to be not funny.

    Reply
  • Yeager Film

    February 11, 2020

    One of these folks is a first timer, last timer.. 😅

    Reply
  • olivepressdesign

    February 11, 2020

    Joaquin #mootoo

    Reply
  • dandivine

    February 11, 2020

    Unfunny as fuck , is that a laugh track. Your shoulders are too slender to carry the other spots Spade.

    Reply
  • Prayerskool

    February 11, 2020

    Thank you for this. The only show that’s bold enough to say what’s true.

    Reply
  • Mitch g

    February 11, 2020

    F the Oscars! "Diversity Chaperone" That was comedy gold!

    Reply
  • straightedge veganbel

    February 11, 2020

    I'd love Fortune to host the Academy Awards, she'd kill it!

    Reply
  • Xion Temoc

    February 11, 2020

    Not these shitty unfunny "comedians" no Pat's on the back

    Reply
  • Bojokowski

    February 11, 2020

    Awards for pretending, next step Mars

    Reply
  • Disiam Theillusion

    February 11, 2020

    Joaquin should've thanked his brother for dying and leaving him work

    Reply
  • Dark Eagle777777

    February 11, 2020

    Welp, seven minutes of my life I'm never getting back.

    Reply
  • tyo789

    February 11, 2020

    Is it me or that lady's been pregnant for like 5 years?

    Reply
  • jaxsun72

    February 11, 2020

    They should have a separate award ceremony for Phoenix's dumbass speeches.

    Reply
  • Zevy Reich

    February 11, 2020

    The Seattle Dragons actually lost…

    Reply
  • Stephen Seehorn

    February 11, 2020

    Sarah Tiana and Christina P look exactly fucking alike, I totally thought the same girl had been pregnant for the last 2 years.

    Reply
  • Rosann Supino

    February 11, 2020

    Comics are the best part of shows!!

    Reply
  • Xochitl Paz

    February 11, 2020

    Joaquin is an animal rights activist and an amazing actor! You seem bitter, prob because you’ve never won one… or will

    Reply
  • Alan Jensen

    February 11, 2020

    Parasite did well so the academy can say see we’re not racist

    Reply
  • Danny bhoy

    February 11, 2020

    Sam Morril awesome

    Reply
  • Stigopopoluz

    February 11, 2020

    Ugh I'm so tired of all the pc point celebs and trying to collect by shitting on white people. The jokes so old by now

    Reply
  • Bobby Demps

    February 11, 2020

    Who’s the white knight? Grow a pair ya wuss

    Reply
  • Emily Reed

    February 11, 2020

    “That was a fun flashback, right?” Oh my gosh I love Fortune so much. #Brenda

    Reply
  • Custos

    February 11, 2020

    That moment you're such a hack, you make the same tired woke joke everyone else has. Must've been tough for him to refrain from getting offended on South Korea's behalf.

    Reply
  • ColdCoffeeBear

    February 11, 2020

    I dont watch the Oscars.

    Reply
  • L. C.

    February 11, 2020

    LEO always brings a woman 20 years younger or older than him.

    Reply
  • Yautja Prime

    February 11, 2020

    The girl wearing Santa's coat said first person. She meant third person…

    Reply
  • Bdhacker101

    February 11, 2020

    Spade should def replace Ellen on her talk show and then it'll be
    "The David Spade Show! formerly known as Ellen"

    Reply
  • Sr. Chiqi Tibum

    February 11, 2020

    Who’s the pandering guy?

    Reply
  • M J M

    February 11, 2020

    I wonder how many of the people who complained about racism and gender bias leading up to The Oscars were totally cool with the racism and gender bias on display during The Oscars.

    Reply
  • Captain Kirk

    February 11, 2020

    someone went to the gap today
    great sweater spade

    Reply
  • xx JahoviA xx

    February 11, 2020

    So is this an on going joke, pretty sure she should have had her kid by now. Is she pregnant? ? Or just got a beer belly. 😉

    Reply
  • Mike Easton

    February 11, 2020

    That lady that's been wearing a pregnancy suit that last few years needs to cool it on the pills.

    Reply
  • bill Wilson

    February 11, 2020

    Hey Oscar's let jeff ross loose

    Reply
  • Moni Carmen

    February 11, 2020

    Did anyone notice Eminem's belly ???

    Reply
  • Sean Wilks

    February 11, 2020

    Damn, is that the kid from bad Santa?

    Reply
  • Andrew Avaritt

    February 11, 2020

    God the cringy Woke jokes scream, “please don’t cancel my career, I’ll say whatever keeps me employed”. Actors/Comedians are cowards that need to get paid so they say whatever is fashionable.

    Reply
  • Keegan Devlin

    February 11, 2020

    Who's this unfunny captain virtue signal? Jesus he made me cringe.

    Reply
  • Graham Becker

    February 11, 2020

    Two pregnant ladies on one show….

    Reply
  • 92laird

    February 11, 2020

    Fuck the woke guy

    Reply
  • Cornlips 4

    February 11, 2020

    Yea because we all know people with money would never steal… lmao

    Reply
  • jeff prator

    February 11, 2020

    All time low in viewership…. Oscar's are insignificant

    Reply
  • Geo Dez

    February 11, 2020

    Al oscar nominated movies SUCK. I know, because I'm not even slightly interested in any of these movies in the past decade.

    Reply
  • Geo Dez

    February 11, 2020

    If you admire any actor, than you are as shallow as the kiddie pool.

    Reply
  • Geo Dez

    February 11, 2020

    Winona Ryder may want to lift that ladies purse😁

    Reply
  • Geo Dez

    February 11, 2020

    Yo know who doesn't love Eminem?
    His mom and dad🤣.

    Reply
  • Geo Dez

    February 11, 2020

    The Oscar's are clearly enjoyed by snowflakes ONLY.

    Reply
  • Waleska Fernandez

    February 11, 2020

    😂❤️

    Reply
  • Sheltonious Maximus

    February 11, 2020

    Worst panel David's had yet

    Reply
  • Ka Oblast

    February 11, 2020

    ohh Spade, you little ugly evil pipsqueak. you tiny corporate shill. you'd wish you had just a spark of the talent and enlightenment Joaquin has.

    Reply
  • Jared Pieck

    February 11, 2020

    I think we need to honor the danish voice actor for elsa from frozen 2 on behalf of mankind, with all of the hideous trolls we all are, someone can still be that damn good looking…

    Reply
  • Ryan Minnis

    February 11, 2020

    Spade you are the funniest on the planet

    Reply
  • Barry Super

    February 11, 2020

    When is Spade going to host the Oscars ?????????

    Reply
  • Barry Super

    February 11, 2020

    The Academy is too scared to have a host because they dont want a repeat of "We saw your boobs".

    Reply
  • Barry Super

    February 11, 2020

    I let others watch the Oscars so I dont have to.

    Reply
  • Pauly Walnuts

    February 11, 2020

    Love the sweater, got that cousin greg swag.

    Reply
  • ambition x

    February 11, 2020

    The oscars were weird as fuck and has been forever those people have always been completely fucked in the head

    Reply
  • Alex

    February 11, 2020

    Like the quick transition from the XFL to the Oscars. Eh both are irrelevant.

    Reply
  • Ingrid Johansson

    February 11, 2020

    Well Jeff Bezos might’ve looked at that purse on the table and said hey I could resell this on… Amazon!

    Reply
  • Ray X

    February 11, 2020

    Is that Ralphie May’s twin sister?

    Reply
  • joesyuh

    February 11, 2020

    Yep… Comedy these days. Hilarious.

    Reply
  • Recusant BilE

    February 11, 2020

    DAVIDFUCKINSPADERULEZ!!!

    Reply
  • Sérgio

    February 11, 2020

    Ok. I'll just go ahead and say it: this is starting to look like "The view"

    Reply
  • Rob Hunter

    February 11, 2020

    Not one mention of the CoronaVirus… Movie studios already missing out on the Chinese ticket sales. The last thing they need to do is mess with their USA gross ticket sales. Don’t scare the people or they’ll never watch a movie in the theaters again!

    Reply
  • ali ali

    February 11, 2020

    none of the movies nominated were great this year

    Reply
  • Rob Hunter

    February 11, 2020

    Kristin and Maya were painfully bad. Fking awful.

    Reply
  • FIL MV

    February 11, 2020

    Diana wasn't drunk 🙄 She's always like that. Keanu and her kissed in a film.

    Reply
  • B. Henderson

    February 11, 2020

    Donald Trump Jr did a very convincing cover of Lose Yourself.

    Reply
  • blue skyz

    February 11, 2020

    His Brother NEVER Stole The Milk Money

    Reply
  • Branden Allen

    February 11, 2020

    Is that Joe Flacco?

    Reply
  • Vamanos Ninja

    February 11, 2020

    David sounds racist

    Reply
  • Dean

    February 11, 2020

    Great, now begins the #mootoo movement.

    Reply
  • Passive Agressive

    February 11, 2020

    Why Sarah always pregnant?

    Reply
  • TheScaredofsilence

    February 11, 2020

    His performance as Joker was possibly the best acting ever on the big screen. And I don't normally give a crap about that stuff.

    Reply
  • HC DaVe

    February 11, 2020

    Eminem didn't get to accept the oscar 18 years ago or so when he won for that song (was home with his daughter) so he finally got to perform it at the oscars 🤗 best part of the show

    Reply
  • TELEthruVOXx

    February 11, 2020

    i’ll take a fist full of wothers originals.

    Reply
  • Sbc 9696

    February 12, 2020

    Can we get a few more pregos on here ? If it's not my kid I don't wanna see some other dudes mutated sperm plz

    Reply
  • Sbc 9696

    February 12, 2020

    A comedic Lamas class I see

    Reply
  • Jordy S

    February 12, 2020

    Joaquin’s message was basically “GO VEGAN”

    Reply
  • Phil Lee

    February 12, 2020

    Wow. I grew up watching your movies David. Lost a ton of respect for you after watching this. Are you the voice for insecure, disgruntled white people now? Frightened by the fact the world isn't a reflection of your pale faces anymore? When referring to Parasite's history making Best Picture Oscar win, the best you could say is, "Don't let them get uppity." You actually pulled a "them" comment? WTF? You used to be cool, man. What the hell happened to you? Hope God can do a number on your heart, open your eyes again, and give you the courage to face reality as it really is, and not how you wished it used to be.

    Reply
  • First to Infinity

    February 12, 2020

    Speaking of flashbacks, that super bowl halftime show was something else!

    Reply
  • WaysMissplaced

    February 12, 2020

    The woman next to David looks like the female version of the kid from bad santa

    Reply
  • Jeff Mills

    February 12, 2020

    parasite from japan was much better

    Reply
  • Guy's Workout Channel

    February 12, 2020

    I was excited when jlo and shakiro performed at the super bowl, in 2002.

    Reply
  • SpiderSparta56

    February 12, 2020

    David I love your SHOW. It's AWESOME and AMAZING SHIT. Fuck ya bro

    Reply
  • Aaron Harper

    February 12, 2020

    Dude on far right is so far left I bet he bashes out his own windows after looking in the mirror and seeing under representation

    Reply
  • Marshall Painting & Services

    February 12, 2020

    We have to, as a nation, treat cows with dignity and respect. It makes the steaks that much more delicious.

    Reply
  • Eddie Lo

    February 12, 2020

    The Hunt trailer looks fun!

    Reply
  • steve conn

    February 12, 2020

    Phoenix was so overrated as the Joker, I turned back to the Breaking Bad marathon after Parasite won Best Picture.

    Reply
  • Nyima Manning

    February 13, 2020

    Bum

    Reply
  • alxra

    February 13, 2020

    Oh, God, I thought the little mouthy preggo who gets all the jokes ahead of time because she's a writer was on maternity leave already. she LUVS pointing at her own face. F'n A, never seen anyone 11 months pregnant before.

    Reply
  • Larinda Nomikos

    February 13, 2020

    Right….I think you will go broke before Bong Joon-Ho does. He's the top director in Korea with six or seven successful films under his belt and I own every one. So, Spade, you may know a ton of Hollywood celebrities but you don't know shit about film.

    Reply
  • Aabbgh hji

    February 13, 2020

    How are these people?

    I remember I saw them in GTA5 that how silly thay are

    Reply
  • crash override

    February 13, 2020

    f the Oscar awards !

    Reply

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