Instagram Has Had Enough of Your Photoshopping (feat. Jim Gaffigan) – Lights Out with David Spade


Instagram
has started flagging pictures that are Photoshopped. Whoa! Uh… See, like, even that–
not just pictures of women– but if you do that to a picture,
it’s gonna… say it won’t show it to you unless you’re prepared
to look at it. -(laughter)
-You know what I’m saying? So it’s mostly for people that
are doing Photoshop with it. -And can I say something?
-Yes, please. I think that we have a tendency
to be suspicious of Instagram and Facebook,
but obviously, -they’re looking out for us.
-(laughter) -HARDWICK: That’s a good point.
-This is not some ploy to get us… to…
to establish intrigue so that we’ll use
our phones more. These are…
these are good people. (laughter) -(applause) -I agree.
-You know what I mean? They’re helping us. It’s such a strange thing,
because they’re saying, “We’re gonna flag fake photos.” It’s, like, yeah,
all Instagram is fake photos! What are you talking about!
It is… it, you know, it’s, like, it’s an idealized
version of our lives. Like, you know, you post
some picture of you on the beach in perfect lighting with,
like, #Bliss, when you’re actually at home
crying in your underwear watching a Golden Girls
marathon, you know? -SPADE: That’s true. -Eating
Lucky Charms by the scoopful. -Oh, my God, you do follow me!
-(laughter) Um, I don’t care. Like, I don’t go to Instagram
for reality. Like, I don’t go there for that.
I go to Instagram to see if anyone
accidentally saw my nipple. -SPADE: It’s turned into,
from pictures -We did. of yourself to… like… as Instagram, uh, progressed,
it got a little different, where it’s just so much FOMO
and pressure to do… And I see why girls Photoshop,
because the competition… Used to be in high school,
you’re like, “Oh, I’m one of the two
pretty girls at my school.” -Now your competition is the
whole world, -CUMMINGS: Yeah. and so you’re like,
“Oh, my God, I have to look perfect,
perfect,” and, uh… I don’t see you
do much tinkering. You’re very pretty in real life, and you look exactly the same
on Instagram. -Give you a compliment.
-(cheering) -That is… -She…
-Wait-Waiting for the insult. -Waiting for the insult.
-No. That’s it. I just don’t, I don’t know,
I don’t think that we need to stop models
from Photoshopping themselves. I think we need to stop models from posting
inspirational quotes. -(laughter) -Let’s get to
the bottom of the real problem. Those quotes I post are a joy. -SPADE: They inspire you?
-I do love the-the… How there’s a bikini shot, then a post by, like,
you know, Harriet Tubman, -then bikini shot.
-SPADE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -I love that. ‘Cause that’s
principal. -It’s always, like, bent over with the ass out. “Time is timeless.” All right. Um, anyway,
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson– you’ve seen… You’re probably
friends with him. -I’ve n… I don’t think I’ve…
-I love The Rock. -What? What was that?
-Great guy. -I’m pulling him into the…
-(mockingly): “I’m pulling…” Um, he’s making a show
about himself, -and it’s…
-Really? -It’s called Young Rock.
-Do tell. This is him at age four,
and, uh… (laughter and applause) Young Rock. The working title
was Dumb Sheldon, but… (laughter) Yeah, got her off guard. -Um…
-Wow. -Ooh, that got me. That got me.
-Gloves are off. -We need…
-How big is his penis where he has that leather thing
in front of it? It’s got a hole in the back.
He puts his wiener in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it’s a…
It’s a NutBjörn that you carry around. -You can carry it around
in there. -NutBjörn. -Yeah.
-How did he even evolve? If I was here, I’d be like,
“I’m done. “I look great. I look cool. I’m nailing it.
I have a black cool belt.” -Yeah. -But yeah, I guess
it’s about his childhood. I’ve never noticed
that piece of trash. (laughter) He did it in the alley. -That’s… Yeah.
-You know, what’s interesting is his mother’s being played
by Kevin Hart. (laughter and applause) Are they in every movie
together? -Is that it?
-I think they might be, yeah. Well, I think they do
a lot of things. SPADE: They do a lot together.
Well, he is… It’s gonna be his younger years
in Hawaii. People think
Hawaii’s all paradise. It is sort of rough parts
to Hawaii. But anyway, I guess, uh,
are you gonna watch the show? -That’s my fake follow-up
question. -There’s gonna be… I mean, it’s like…
I think it’s his teen years. -SPADE: Oh, it’s his teen…
-You know that… I mean, first of all,
it’s just so nice to see The Rock get some work, -you know what I mean?
-HARDWICK: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he’s been… he’s been out there trying,
and it’s like, -finally, something going
his way. -SPADE: Clicks, yeah. Know what I mean? And then I-I’m looking
for the offshoot of, like, when he’s,
like, a baby. It’s Young Pebble.

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