Everyone on Pornhub Is Suddenly Search for “Shakira” – Lights Out with David Spade


Hi, Rachel. Rachel– Now, these two
have been here before. -And, uh, they’re great.
Rachel’s new. -(cheering) Rachel did our Tight 5,
uh, and did great. So we’re, uh–
we’re back with the squad. I hope
we’re not gonna overwhelm you. -She seems so nice. -She’s
great. -She is so nice. -You guys. -Fantastic.
The mascot story kind of sca– A friend of ours had the Phillie
Phanatic at his bar mitzvah, and the guy took the head off. And I said,
“What did it smell like?” He said, “It smelled
like Doritos, vodka, -and broken dreams.”
-Yeah. I would say–
And I would say hide dead bodies
and hide boners. Those are the two things
they have to help them. -Two things that mascots
are constantly… -Hiding. They could have a rod
under there. Nobody would know. They’re always grabbing people,
and everyone’s like, “Ah.” (growls)
And you’re like… That’s why you wear the costume, -to hide the… -Of course.
Get out there and have some fun. -Yeah. -Uh, anyway,
let’s get to the serious news. -Let’s do it. -The Oscars
accidentally tweeted out -their predictions for this
year’s winners, all right? -Oof. So do you think we do–
they do this for free press? Or do you think these are
actually the winners? Who’s running the Academy,
Pete Rose? -What the hell? You cannot do
this! -That’s right. The Oscars should not be
spending their time tweeting out predictions. They should be spending
their time -snubbing Greta Gerwig.
-Yes! Do it! -That’s most of their day.
-That’s most of their day. I just feel like it has to be–
this can’t be real, because John Wick 3
didn’t show up at all. -Like…
-Yeah, that’s true. -Yeah. And Keanu,
he’s an American treasure. I… -He really is.
-He’s a national treasure. -Everyone loves Keanu,
including me. -(cheering) May– I say about Keanu,
may he rest in peace. -And I know he’s not dead.
-We just want him to get -a good night’s sleep.
-Just want him to get -a good night’s sleep.
-This would be like if the NFL referees came out -with their Super Bowl
predictions. -Yes. You know?
It feels a little crooked. Because this came up,
and then they pulled it down. Right. This would be like
if Chipotle, like, tweeted out a list of people
that were gonna get diarrhea. You know, it’s–
I’m on that list twice. -Why?
-Never been there. Um, according
to an adult website, Pornhub… -Play dumb. -MAC: What’s that?
-Never heard of it. -What is this? I… -Uh…
-I don’t know what that is. You know what I mean
by “adult website.” (ascending whistle) (descending whistle) Um, the big winner
of the Super Bowl was Shakira. Searches for Shakira on the site
impr– increased by 1400%. J. Lo’s? 380%. The halftime show,
it drew more viewers than the actual Super Bowl, proving
that America loves MILFs. Yes, they do. (laughter) J.Lo… J.Lo– 380%. 300% of that was A-Rod alone.
You know what I mean? Guy is whipped. Guys are googling,
and it just seems like the halftime show is on, they have their laptop,
they’re, like… (laughter) “S-H… E? Is it ‘Shuh?’ S-H-A?” That’s good object word.
That’s really good object word. -Is it object word?
-Good object word. Then halfway through, they go… I’m excited on the laptop. -You know what? Let’s just…
-They did mention is that, uh, that gay PornHub searches
went up, too, during the Super Bowl. Searches of chiefs
coming from behind, -which, uh…
-Now hang on a second. -Wait a minute.
-I think it’s racist. -It was racist?
-(applause and cheering) -Don’t shake your head.
-She’s shaking her head. -She’s like, “No.”
-I think it’s racist. -I don’t like it!
-I… I don’t get the whole thing, because I see two successful,
attractive women, like, I’m inspired, and I’m also wet. -I don’t need PornHub.
I don’t… -(laughter) (applause and cheering) Wait. Wait. For real, when you
were watching it, I was like… When Shakira was on,
I was like, “This is the best
Super Bowl-themed wedding I’ve ever been to.” And then, J.Lo came out with, like, the stripper pole
from Hustlers, and I was like, “Okay, now this is the best
Super Bowl-themed -bachelor party
I’ve ever been to.” -JASON: Yes. -It was like…
-A two in one. What if they turn around
at the end and go,
“What are you looking at?” -Everyone goes, “Oh, oh.”
-(laughter) -Laptop, laptop, laptop, laptop.
-Yeah, laptop, lap… Because I heard… So first of all,
they announced J.Lo, right? And then, she was excited,
and then a couple weeks later, I don’t know what happened
behind the scenes, but they had to announce
Shakira was added. And, you know, J.Lo was
a little freaked out by that, because her agent goes,
“Hey, great news, Je… “Um, you know what? “You don’t have to do
the whole 12 minutes anymore. “I know
it was stressing you out. “We’re gonna break it up
into pieces. Now you only have to change
maybe nine times.” -(laughter) -I can’t believe
they even changed. I was like,
“Who would even think of that?” When Tom Petty did it,
he didn’t change. -RANDY: He didn’t change.
-Yeah. -And then he died. -In my day,
yeah. -(audience groaning) Maybe that was it.
Yeah, you want to end on that? -Jesus Christ. -Oh, boo.
-All right, we’ll end on that.

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