Brett Gelman Lives in His Car (feat. Chris Jericho) – Lights Out with David Spade

Brett Gelman Lives in His Car (feat. Chris Jericho) – Lights Out with David Spade


Kylie Jenner needed a new car, so she bought herself something
sensible and dependable, a $3 million Bugatti. She posted a video of it
on Instagram, of course, and then, uh, she got lit up
for flaunting her wealth, so she deleted it. Brett,
you still live in your car. -What do you think…
-(laughter) of… this? Why do I pick on you,
of all people? What do I think
about living in my car? -I think it’s great. I…
-(laughter) I have a, you know,
a little mini fridge in there. I have a nice… selection of fine meats -and cheeses.
-(laughter) -Okay.
-And, uh, I’ll be honest, sleeping in it
is not comfortable. -Mm.
-Plus, you know, I’m not really on that much anti-inflammatory
diet, with all the meats, so… I wake up pretty stiff,
so what I save on, like, you know, apartment or rent,
I-I have to pay in… massages and acupuncture. (laughter) That’s not where I thought
this was heading. (laughter) But I like it.
I started this problem. I think a Bugatti is
a nice car, and I… They say it’s rude, ’cause
there’s kids starving in Africa, but they’re not eating
a Bugatti. I don’t get what they…
I don’t get… -I don’t understand.
-I think it’s crazy that her fans are mad–
it’s, like, did you think -you were following Elizabeth
Warren? Like… -(laughter) I feel like… if she was…
she goes like this. “Oh, you bought this?”
She goes, “I didn’t finish. “I’m gonna fill it
with Triscuits “and drop it over the Congo,
and then everyone’s gonna eat and get carbs,”
and they’re like, “Oh, Kylie, -you really turned it around.”
-“Oh, Kylie.” But then people
are gonna be like, what if… what if some of the people in
the Congo are gluten-intolerant? SPADE:
I know. -You can’t win at all.
-You can’t win. You can’t win. -Not with IG. -That’s always
the problem. -Yeah. All right.
This one you can win. Glenlivet is putting whiskey
in capsules– Everyone’s been clamoring
for this– that are basically edible
Tide Pods. And it is the least classy way
to drink and do laundry. But I don’t think– I don’t know if you chew them and then it-it goes up
into your mouth, which would be too–
that would taste like shit. Or if you swallow them like they do
in those cocaine movies. Or, I don’t know. I, uh, when I was in college,
I always wanted to go into a dryer
and close the door, and turn it on
and see what was gonna happen. This would actually help me
close the deal. Just take some Tide Pod whiskey,
get into the (bleep) dryer, set it off and just let me do it
for the rest of the night. I like that Glenlivet is like,
“What if booze was pills? Let’s capitalize
on this opioid epidemic.” Right.
Just combine the two. -Yeah.
-I love these. I can’t wait. I tru– Like, I think everyone’s
against these. It’s like, “Listen, this is why
my ancestors moved here from the potato famine,”
you know? Like, so we could put whiskey straight in our puss
if we want to. -And… -SPADE:
Is that where you put it? Where are you gonna– I mean,
when you– when I see that, my first instinct is, “I’m gonna
put that in my puss.” -Uh…
-Yeah. It’s not gonna be
an every day thing. Will I chew it and swallow it
sometimes? -Absolutely. But…
-Fine. Sure. Am I gonna experiment with some
whiskey pod in my puss? SPADE:
Sure. I would, you know. In more “Mom,
turn off the show” news… there’s a new sponge for women that provides easy cleanup
after sex. It’s called, literally,
the “come and gone.” -JERICHO: Wow.
-Oh, boy. Mom, I was not bluffing. Before the clip,
turn off the TV. Here’s a clip
of what this thing is. ♪ ♪ -That’s terrible.
-(laughter) That’s not real, is it? (laughter) Oh.
(smacks lips) Men already have this product. It’s called an old sock. JUDITH SPADE: Davey,
I didn’t turn off the TV, And, boy, am I sorry. (laughter) -That’s my mom.
-Thanks, Mom. -SPADE: Yeah, that is
a real thing. -JERICHO: Wow. And it was made– I think I saw
that on Shark Spank. And that is something I want to
get in on if it’s a GoFundMe. I just– Like, this is a product
that’s actually supposed to go in my pussy,
and I don’t want to do it. So that’s like…
They’ve clearly… -SPADE: That’s the opposite.
-Also, I’m a modern woman. I like to just drip, drip, drip,
you know? Uh… (laughter) I like to go into a– You guys look… (laughing) (laughter) (applause and cheering) They’ve all turned into my mom. I think this is a way that women are gonna be able to get
the DNA from NBA players and then create
their own Jurassic Park where it gives
a whole new meaning… Raptors will be running free
in a whole different way. I was at the aquarium yesterday
and I found out that the turtles are more
excited to choke on these than just straws. They’re really
looking forward to it.

100 Comments

  • Zep Langston

    October 12, 2019

    Let’s ignore the elephant in the morning room….

    That ass

    Reply
  • Brother skrill

    October 12, 2019

    Ya more rich people just be and be about people without it's not your problem why fuking worry about it you didnt fuck all those women and have 12 to 15 kids a piece so why is it are puss

    Reply
  • amerocker

    October 12, 2019

    Hmm…going on a date with Kylie in her Borgatti, eating Glenlivet whiskey pods and having her clean up after sex with Come and Gone. How's that for an image?!

    Reply
  • BellyWasher

    October 12, 2019

    I've seen the ol' whiskey in the puss….it didn't last long.

    Reply
  • PhillyCheeseSteaks

    October 12, 2019

    This is seriously the funniest thing on late night

    Reply
  • Paul M. Hurley Sr.

    October 12, 2019

    I loved always seeing David Spade caught by TMZ driving around in his Grand National!!! #GbodyIsAWayOfLife

    Reply
  • jeff jones

    October 12, 2019

    Megan is hot as FUCK!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • Daily Asperger's Syndrome

    October 12, 2019

    Hey David, I'm sorry I'm kind of not your normal dude I have Asperger's Syndrome but I can never not love you I'm sure you know how that goes, stop having these f**** debutante c******* comedians on your show please move to the next level and f**** pull something cool off!! Like a normal condescendent backboard b** bro like Norm Macdonald has and not these stupid f**** want to be comedians who don't have "it" Love you bro you can never disappoint me it's just the s*** you hire disappoints me!!

    Reply
  • A n g e l o

    October 12, 2019

    Skank

    Reply
  • SILENT YOUTUBE

    October 12, 2019

    To spend that much money on a car is fucking stupid .

    Reply
  • BadCrispy

    October 12, 2019

    Great show! Megan is so funny.

    Reply
  • Ramona Nicola

    October 12, 2019

    I need a TV series with David Spade and Ricky Gervais. That is a money maker!!!!

    Reply
  • Rachel

    October 12, 2019

    Uhhh… girl, you're alone on that thought. No chick is thinking of putting tide pods up their p*ssy.

    Reply
  • J S

    October 12, 2019

    after megans drip drip drip comment. Brett should have been like " get out of my dreams…. and into my car" lol

    Reply
  • NefariousPorpoise

    October 12, 2019

    Female comic making pussy jokes, how refreshing. Nice counter to all the dick jokes.. oh, wait.

    Reply
  • tyrion lannister

    October 12, 2019

    There are kids starving in America when will the yanks realize they're a third world country themselves.forget Africa and look at your own backyard

    Reply
  • aardlord

    October 12, 2019

    I'll never eat Twinkies again

    Reply
  • Iconoclast

    October 12, 2019

    I’ve heard of whiskey dick but not whisky pussy

    Reply
  • mbolduc

    October 12, 2019

    Jericho killed it at the end

    Reply
  • J Nic

    October 12, 2019

    The girl was trying so hard but she just wasn’t funny

    Reply
  • Spooks McGhie

    October 12, 2019

    Drip drip drip

    Reply
  • Dom Dukes

    October 12, 2019

    This guys meat and cheese both spoiled at the same moment he commented on it…

    Reply
  • Space Ninja

    October 12, 2019

    she would actually die if she did that

    Reply
  • Simon Neeson

    October 12, 2019

    Hi, can you please make more of these clips available in Australia?

    Reply
  • ali ali

    October 12, 2019

    great show

    Reply
  • Brent Wiggins

    October 13, 2019

    If you like Twinkies, watch at your own risk.

    Reply
  • Recusant BilE

    October 13, 2019

    DAVIDFUCKINSPADERULEZ!!!

    Reply
  • Beej Mckay

    October 13, 2019

    Holy shit Brett Gelman is funny.

    Reply
  • Tom Jackson

    October 13, 2019

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPCprhnPCSE

    Reply
  • XxShadowGTxX

    October 13, 2019

    The same people roasting her are probably the same idiots who donated to her. "Youngest SELF MADE" billionare." Yeah, ok lol

    Reply
  • Proline Welding Ltd

    October 14, 2019

    MuH vUhGiNa

    South parks eric cartman 100% accurate about whamen comics

    Reply
  • bubbasdragon

    October 14, 2019

    These 3 guests are perfect. Hilarious!!!

    Reply
  • Old Cremona

    October 14, 2019

    Not the best episode.

    Reply
  • A.C. B. ART

    October 15, 2019

    Her puss…..hmmmm, yeah…no…

    Reply
  • Calum Foster

    October 15, 2019

    Brett, that unfunny cuck

    Reply
  • Angel E.

    October 15, 2019

    oh so this is what they called comedy back in the old days huh

    Reply
  • LightningXA

    October 15, 2019

    Megan is Fn awesome

    Reply
  • LauraDADIGOD

    October 16, 2019

    FUNNY NEW SHOW🎉❗ KEEP IT GOING❗

    Reply
  • BlueAngel

    October 17, 2019

    3:44 we are all traumatized….hahahaha

    Reply
  • Eduardo Hernandez

    October 18, 2019

    Who is this bootleg amy schumer?

    Reply
  • MetalMomLT

    October 18, 2019

    She is cute and all but I don’t think she’s funny it’s like she just wants to be shocking. It’s fine to be shocking but you have to be good at it. Or funny. She’s neither.

    Reply
  • Pedro Pete

    October 26, 2019

    That Raptors joke was good, but no love? Obviously not sports fans on this show.

    Reply
  • Hunter Makoy

    October 30, 2019

    Glad Megan proved not all female comics go on about their pussy.

    Reply
  • Vro Chacho

    October 30, 2019

    Chris edits and beeps out the word “fuck” on his podcast and then goes ahead and says it on TV🤔 stop editing your podcast!!!

    Reply
  • M J M

    November 1, 2019

    That dude from Grease has not aged well…

    Reply
  • jose's lump

    November 3, 2019

    Shark spank made me die a little

    Reply
  • A.C. B. ART

    November 7, 2019

    Hey, unfunny girl….the 70's called and they want their "retarded kid" wardrobe from "They Call Me Adam" back.

    Reply
  • Privileged White Male

    November 7, 2019

    Who in the hell dressed the bald guy

    Reply
  • Anthoney

    November 9, 2019

    Stop saying puss, lady. We get it, you’re edgy

    Reply
  • Edgehead10075

    November 14, 2019

    Wait. I always thought David Spade and Chris Jericho were the same person.

    Reply
  • plutosorbitoutthere

    November 16, 2019

    I fell out of my chair and pissed myself a little when she did the ‘put it in my puss’ joke. Funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time

    Reply
  • Jacob Green

    November 17, 2019

    Why does that bitch have Disney Princess eyes, a 44 year old outfit, and the voice of a brain-dead 13 year old girl?

    Reply
  • Jooo Ayee

    November 18, 2019

    i literally want to marry David Spade

    Reply
  • Briana V

    November 19, 2019

    This chick is trying too hard to look cool. It’s not coming off as natural but I love the stare Brett gave her after that last go-to pussy joke.

    Reply
  • the onlyone24

    November 19, 2019

    Of course the woman is the only one left out in the title lol
    Good move Spades YouTube clips crew

    Reply
  • Help the Poor To Code

    November 19, 2019

    Shame on you people joking bout poverty in congo

    Reply
  • Richard Miller

    November 19, 2019

    Our society is so upside down a girl gets rich for being a coalburner whore, along with her family

    Reply
  • Karimi

    November 20, 2019

    Chris Jericho looks like Ser Duncan the Tall

    Reply
  • Trey Lemoine

    November 20, 2019

    brett deserves to live in his car, he is the absolute worst

    Reply
  • Mitch g

    November 21, 2019

    She’s naughty….and funny.

    Reply
  • Rich Hard

    November 22, 2019

    The Ayatollah of Rock N Rolla!!!

    Reply
  • CD

    November 22, 2019

    Drip Drip Drip

    Reply
  • Volgax364

    November 22, 2019

    She’s a drip a dry kinda gal. Fair play

    Reply
  • Bannequins

    November 22, 2019

    Brett clearly sells coke to high school kids in the 90s

    Reply
  • 316SR

    November 23, 2019

    I miss Blonde Jericho

    Reply
  • Robert Cosimini

    November 25, 2019

    bro, I
    love this look

    Reply
  • Brian OSullivan

    November 29, 2019

    Brett looks like bait to revive Chris Hansen’s career.

    Reply
  • Kenny Cote

    December 1, 2019

    Spade, killin it!

    Reply
  • TheRedScare

    December 2, 2019

    Just realized that was Chris Jericho…ooff, aging is a bitch. Shaped like a bag of flour.

    Reply
  • Volvican

    December 2, 2019

    The comment section tells me that the Venn diagram of Fleabag watchers and Lights Out are two distinct circles.

    Reply
  • Corey Hinkel

    December 3, 2019

    Why does every current shitty female comic have to play the gross card.

    Reply
  • Patrick aka Freestyle

    December 4, 2019

    Just get a mouth suction tip from the dentist. Problem solved

    Reply
  • StarkRaving Ralph

    December 5, 2019

    Modern Woman 😂😂😂 ❤ it!

    Reply
  • Andrew Smith

    December 6, 2019

    Gold

    Reply
  • D Palm

    December 6, 2019

    Another female comedian talking about her vagina…cringe

    Reply
  • RomesThe59

    December 8, 2019

    Welcome to Lights out is JERICHO

    Reply
  • Turin Horse

    December 11, 2019

    Gelman ROFL

    Reply
  • Rohit Kalra

    December 11, 2019

    Man that female comic is filthy!
    Generally I don't mind but I had just eaten 🤮

    Reply
  • The Xquisit1

    December 11, 2019

    I laughed so hard at ima put that in my puss

    Reply
  • toltecnightmare

    December 15, 2019

    why do most female comics assume talking about their pussy is hilarious?

    Reply
  • John Malcolm

    December 15, 2019

    Megan Gailey's gonna put a tide pod in her Sarlacc pit.

    Reply
  • Logan Wright

    December 17, 2019

    Brett makes me uncomfortable

    Reply
  • Hayden Herrick

    December 18, 2019

    brett gelman stop doing coke

    Reply
  • John Caash

    December 24, 2019

    AFTER THE SHOCK VALUE OF A WOMAN TALKING DIRTY WEARS AWAY you still have to be funny…

    Reply
  • Casey Manuel

    January 2, 2020

    “I’m gonna fill it with triscuits and drive it through the Congo.” I am crying

    Reply
  • Bailo Descalza

    January 3, 2020

    She still has dough? I thought Jenner blew it all on her countless plastic surgeries 🤣

    Reply
  • TheJewishHeart

    January 3, 2020

    Every single female comedian talks about her cunt thinking it's funny. Spoiler alert, it's not.

    Reply
  • fart poops

    January 6, 2020

    gelman is a cuck with no career.

    Reply
  • James McCool

    January 7, 2020

    This show makes me wish I had cable.

    Reply
  • bauhaus

    January 9, 2020

    Wow, strong and brave, that female "comic" telling jokes about her See-You-Next-Tuesday. Ground breaking and clever.

    Reply
  • Sukhbir Sekhon

    January 9, 2020

    So this is why my clothes smell of whiskey?

    Reply
  • Simon Friedrich

    January 9, 2020

    The people were angry @ her for showing of her Bugatti, because it was distorting the picture…

    Reply
  • lbdeuce

    January 13, 2020

    that guys leather jacket and loafers are so sad

    Reply
  • AshVsTheDeadite

    January 14, 2020

    Who else was shocked when the twinkie was raped with a cotton swab??

    Reply
  • Rhea Booth

    January 15, 2020

    Escalated quickly…

    Reply
  • itkojecockot

    January 18, 2020

    isn't this the guy who played that "cuck husband" on "The Other Guys" :D:D:D:D:D

    Reply
  • Ccmusic

    January 20, 2020

    "and then raptors will be running free in a different way." A surprisingly smart and underrated joke. 😂

    Reply
  • cody bot

    January 25, 2020

    Whiskey pod in my puss

    Reply
  • Eduardo Hernandez

    January 25, 2020

    Every female comedian now: “vagina, vagina, vagina”

    Reply
  • nelda blanco

    February 9, 2020

    Backlash…Karma…whatever it is, rich people need pay their fair share! Not more than anyone else, just fair taxes!

    Reply

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