From ladies laughing at your junk, to Chinese
toilet megaplexes, we count 13 of the most bizarre public bathrooms and urinals.
13 – Women Laughing • No trip to the toilet is complete without
a gaggle of strange ladies laughing at your Penis-De-Milo.
• Whoever designed these urinals thought it would be an outstanding idea to install
life-size photos of women leering over each urinal.
• The women stand there mocking your privates, while you drain your snake, making your toilet
experience an unsatisfyingly awkward one. 12 – Lipstick Mouths
• If women laughing at your winky isn’t really your thing, maybe these lipstick urinals
are more up your alley. • Why you would want to take a whizz on
two gigantic red lips is beyond me, but these bombastic labial urine stations exist somewhere
in Australasia. • Maybe they have a female equivalent where
you can poop on a beard-shaped toilet. 11 – WeeGoal Urinal
• If only there was a way you could take a piss and score goals at the same time, OH
WAIT YOU CAN. • This is the ‘WeeGoal’, a miniature
soccer pitch that you can play with your pee pee. What a time to be alive. Now you can
wee your way into a Champee-ons League. [Insert laugh track]
10 – Toilet Restaurant • Okay so these aren’t functional toilets,
but it’s weird enough to be included because why the hell are people sitting on toilet
seats in a restaurant. • It’s 8pm, you’re meeting your tinder
date and for some reason you’re in Taiwan. But you’re also a weird guy so you take
your date to a place where it looks like people are shitting while they eat.
• Taiwanese innovation literally has no chill.
9 – One Way Mirror • Finally, someone invented a public toilet
which lets you stare people straight in the face while you take a shit.
• The one way mirror design makes this bathroom look like your average city mirror cube. Inside
however, pooping persons can feel like the whole world is watching them while they stimulate
their bowels. • Maybe there’s some sort of health benefit
in having an adrenaline rush while you use the toilet that I’m not aware of.
8 – Trombone • Why can’t people just be happy answering
the call of nature in a good old fashioned urinal? Why do they have to complicate life
by pissing into vintage trombones? • Using a toilet is so mainstream. Hipsters
prefer pissing into brass wind instruments, because it’s different and unique.
• That’s all well and good, but just don’t come crying to me when you find a steamy pile
of urine all over your totally retro 1950’s record player.
7 – Couples Toilet Seat • It’s like the old saying goes, “Couples
who shit together, stay together.” • This toilet is baffling. Why would anyone
in their right mind want company while they ‘drop their kids off at the pool’? Are
couples really synchronising their bowel movements so that they can sit and stare lovingly at
each other while they crap their brains out? • The only people who could claim this is
practical are Siamese twins who are literally joined at the head.
6 – Golf Clubs • This bad boy is the most ludicrous urinal
yet: it’s a pee canister which hides in your golf club.
• It’s called a ‘UroClub’. The golf club is designed to look exactly like a ‘legit’
golf club, but it has a “discreet” reservoir for super subtle tinkle times. If you’re
out on a golf course surrounded by nature, why in the hell would you want to pee into
a pole and carry it around with you. • THIS COMPANY IS LITERALLY TAKING THE PISS.
5 – Video Game Dunnies • ‘I wish going to the bathroom was a
more social gaming experience’ – Said nobody ever.
• Even still, these public toilets have been converted into gaming stations so now
you can compete while you excrete. The gamer bathroom doesn’t bother with privacy. I
mean if Donkey Kong doesn’t need pants, why does anyone else?
4 – Ski Pee • This bathroom is brought to us by wonderfully
inventive Japanese designers: The ski-slope toilet.
• The walls of the bathroom are painted so that the guest feels like they are about
to slide down a humungous mountain. If you are scared of heights, you’re in the right
place to shit your pants. • There’s even a pair of skis that you
can slip on to make the whole ski-pee experience feel even more realistic.
3 – Floating Toilet • Speaking of heights, if you’ve got acrophobia,
you might not want to use this hellacious toilet hanging over a bottomless pit.
• If you’re having trouble stimulating your bowels, this is sure to give you a kick
of adrenaline to get your crap factory moving again. The floor is made of reinforced glass,
but it doesn’t stop the whole feeling of plummeting to your death while you take one
last poop any less real. 2 – Coffin
• People are always asking us: ‘Hey, is there a place I can go to piss into a receptacle
of death?’ We hear you ask. Well we’re happy to report that yes – yes there is!
• These are life-size coffin urinals and they are scary as hell. The screeching bat
heads are elegantly installed at eye-height to stare into your soul, reminding you of
your futile mortality and the general pointlessness of existence.
• It’s a family-friendly experience guaranteed to definitely not give little Timmy nightmares
for the rest of his precious life. 1 – Chongqing – World’s biggest toilet
park • Deep in the depths of China, there is
a theme park that claims to have the largest amount of public toilets anywhere in the world.
• More than a thousand of the most bizarre toilets can be seen in the entertainment area
known as ‘Foreigners’ Street’ in Chongqing. Dubbed ‘Porcelain Palace’, the huge bathroom
complex has been influenced by Gaudi’s park in Barcelona and has been described as super
kitschy. Can’t imagine why.